Saturday, February 28, 2009

Day 1!!

Well in a million years i never thought that it would come to this. I've finally decided that today was the day, today was the day that i would commit to losing weight. When i was younger and before i had kids, i never need to watch what i ate. I ate what i wanted and when i wanted it. Now, that isn't the case. In the past 3 and a half years, i have gained a gross amount of weight, and now at 25 and only standing 5 foot 3 inches, i weigh a gastly 215lbs. Altho i was never modelesque nor do i want to be, i do however want to be able to play with my kids for more than 10 minutes without having to have a break. I run up stairs and i'm winded. I have no energy and snacking has become my hobby. I dont feel comfortable in my own skin. My biggest problem so far with this is, i'm at war with myself. Part of me says " Whatever, eat what you want, it tastes good!" but i know in my heart that i need to be healthy, not only for me but for my kids. I dont ever want them to feel lost in their own body, or feel ashamed of themselves. So today i met with Janine, my new personal trainer. We talked about my goals for the future, and what i wanted out of this journey. My main goal is to extend my life, so i can be here for my kids because they are my whole world. Janine did my measurements and measured my body fat and what scared me the most is I almost have the equivelant of my 8 year old daughter in body fat. I felt sick to my stomach that i have let things get so far out of hand but felt relieved that i was taking the first step to a better life. The idea of this blog was mine, not too try to get pity or make people feel sympathetic, but just for my own support of myself. I figure if i have a rotton day i can look back at all of this and see what a huge effort i have been making and still need to make. Tomorrow, is the fitness part of my training session. Im excited to get started and scared silly all at the same time. My body is out of shape, and i know im going to be sore the next day. But for some reason, this time it isn't scaring me out of it. I am finally aware of what i have to do. Like i said earlier, TODAY IS THE DAY!!!!