Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I have been very anxious this week. I'm very excited about my trip. I'm excited for the kids also. I want them to meet everyone. Altho Kearstin has met alot of my family, She unfortunatly wouldn't remember them. Sadly enough it has been that long since i have seen them.
Even tho i am so excited i am also very disappointed. My dad was supposed to go along on this trip and i was looking forward to the time with him, not only for me but the kids too. But again he has let me down. On his facebook and msn i have been reading all week that he has been going to auctions all over. Then last night i get a message that he cant afford to go and that ill be going by myself. It hurts that he couldn't just keep away from all the unneccessary crap and think of his kids and grandkids for once. Him and i have been planning this trip for over two months so its not like he didn't know that it was coming. The thing that makes me the most angry is that i let it happen again. Being let down by him is something that has been happening my whole life and i was silly to think that things would change.

My diet and workouts have been going good. Pounds are still coming off, slowly but they are coming off. I tryed on a pair of pants that i haven't worn for a real long time and i zipped them up and didn't want to cry lol. It felt great to know that all the hard work is paying off and that i am really doing what i have been trying so hard to do. I still have a long road ahead of me but hey one pair of pants is a huge start and right now ill take it. People around me are starting to notice that i have lost weight and complimenting me and i think now thats what i needed to boost the confidence and gain back my motivation. Sometimes i guess you just need a push!!